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Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Right to Complain

I think one of the many many problems with going through the whole infertility process is when you finally get pregnant, you feel so grateful that you don't feel like you have the right to complain about any pregnancy symptoms or even later, about any child issues once they are born. Just pile that feeling on top of all the other unfair things about infertility.

So what I'd like to say is, you DO have a right to complain like any other pregnant women or mommy! Once you have finally reached your goal and you can relax (hmm...and when exactly would that be?), you should enjoy it.

Part of enjoying pregnancy and motherhood is having the right to complain about it because, believe me, not everything will be wonderful. Your feet will swell, you won't be able to sleep, your back might ache and you should be able to voice your thoughts on the matter without feeling guilty. Same goes for once the baby is born. You will be tired and frustrated and struggling with mommyhood. You will also love that baby more than you ever thought possible. But, that doesn't mean you have to be happy ALL the time.

Stand up for your right to complain and don't think that makes any less thankful for finally reaching your goal of being a mommy!


~Jess said...

I agree with you. In my mind it's only slightly different than someone receiving chemo-therapy for cancer; yes, one is grateful that they're being "cured", but that doesn't mean you can't complain about the side effects.

Complain all you want darlin' :-)


I Believe in Miracles said...

That's a great post. I think it's hard to figure out because you do want to be grateful, but afraid of offending all the readers that still aren't there yet. I've definately encountered that with friends who got pregnant (not there yet).

Kelly D said...

My infertility no doubt taints my complaints. There are times when I want to just let out how frustrated I am with one of my twins (or both of them), but I feel compelled to always be gracious I have children.

I read your post about infertility vs. mommy blog. My blog is mainly a resource center for women going through infertility so whenever I do mention anything about my kids I follow it up with how lucky I know I am... Might be overkill, but I do agree with you they go hand in hand because the end goal is motherhood.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post!

Here from ICLW.

kirke said...

Thanks for dropping by and offering some much needed positivity.

Complain all you want. You've earned it :)

Silver said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog!

Can't wait to read more about yours! Good luck with your PG