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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Infertility vs. Mommy Blog

Thanks to ICLW I've been reading a log of different blogs this week which got me to thinking. Many of the blogs listed on Mel's site are about infertility and life in general. I noticed that in some blogs the women who have suffered from fertility problems but now have families either have a separate blog for fertility issues and another for mommy stuff, other bloggers choose to warn readers when their is content about kids. Which leads me to wonder, can you combine blogging about infertility and blogging about your kids?

I was thinking about this as I walked over to get my daughter from daycare today and it seems to me that they aren't two separate topics, they are inevitably intertwined. If those of us who suffer from fertility issues were never able to have families then all the treatments would be futile and the whole infertility industry would not exist. We put up with all the invasive tests and procedures to ultimately end up with a family or we choose to adopt and grow our family that way. That means there are many of us who want to discuss both infertility and family hence they become one and the same.

I am painfully aware that not all infertility sufferers end up with the family they so desperately desire and that they probably don't want to read about my views on being a working mom, it would just be too painful for them. My heart definitely goes out to you if you fall in to that category. I know that I'm very lucky to finally have my family and I don't take that for granted. So, those of you who decide to stick with me, I hope you don't mind that I mix infertility with family, because in the end, that is the way it should be.

20 comments:

planningdoesntwork said...

If we manage to have kids I suspect I'll keep the same blog, it will just morph as what I want to write about changes. If I lose readers, well, friendships IRL grow and change and sometimes people drift apart then too.

I actually like to read blogs of people who are parenting after infertility. It gives me hope.

Jaymee said...

since i am having a hard time thinking past tomorrow i cannot fathom what my blog will look like if we ever have a family.

i always appreciate it when people warn that they are going to write about their kids. there are just days when my heart cannot take child talk. other days i love to read the stories and they do give me hope.

ILCW

Shelby said...

I like to read the 'mommy' posts of fellow 'IFs' because it does make me realize that I am not enduring this for nothing...that although I might not be part of the 'success' stories one day, whether through bio birth or adoption, there is still a chance out there. Seeing that it has happened for others makes it more clear. Reading about parenting after IF makes me realize this.

Sharon said...

Happy NCLW! I thought I would just pop in and say HELLO from Seattle! I agree with you that eventually and hopefully everyone struggling with infertility will soon be "cured" by having a child in their lives...one way or another!

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.

Stacie said...

I struggle with this thought, too. I have decided that I need to just blog about what is important to me, and let's face it, infertility AND my family are important, so it is natural that I would write about both.

Just read your side bar...Congrats on the bfp!

Katie said...

I don't see how they can be separated ... Had I started my blog prior to having kids, it would have been filled with details of IVFs, FETs, medications and injections, failure and heartbreak and hope. You've done it once, you're doing it again, and you are - we both are - mommies THANKS to infertility treatments. Because of that, you have the ability to blog about Lizzie and Baby #2 and work and life. They aren't separate at all, they're all part of the long winding road that leads to where you are right now. Keep on blogging and my goodness CONGRATULATIONS!

Rachel & Jacob said...

encouraging!

I Believe in Miracles said...

Thanks for the input on ICSI. That's good to know. I was shocked that they said they wouldn't do it if it appears to be working... but I trust them since they're the experts (at least I have to hope they are!).

I don't think I've met another blogger from MA! Pretty exciting. So although I found you from ICLW, I'll try to keep up with your story.

I would definitely mix both, but probably warn people or start a separate blog for the family. Not sure. Will cross that bridge when it comes.

**HUGS**

DrSpouse said...

I like to read the parent bits, as I have a lot of friends IRL who are parents, and I know the IF community parents are going to be a lot more sympathetic than the general crowd.

(Via ICLW)

kateypie35 said...

This is an excellent post. I sometimes am not sure if I should even participate in ICLW, as I have "crossed over" and now my blog is definitely a Mommy blog....my infertility blog was private as all I did was cry and rant. I feel badly if people are hurt by my current situation, but at the same time I still feel connected and attached to the infertility world...its a hard tightrope to walk. I feel very lucky too, but I still want to connect with and support those who are still battling. And, should I ever try for number two, I will be back in the infertility fight again, but even secondary IF is different. Hmm.
Interesting post, thank you!!!

kateypie35 said...

ps - do you mind if I link to your post?

Ginny said...

I think your blog is your blog & you should do what is right for you.

If you are successful with fertility treatments, then it is a natural progression to then start talking about being a mom.

Jamie said...

After 5 IVF's, I finally have a son. My blog now talks about him -- a lot. However, it also discusses my quest for another child -- which will involve more trips to the RE.

Infertility and children go hand in hand. I always mention that I discuss parenting in my list of 3 words -- that way those who aren't ready for that don't have to click my way.

Here from ICLW.

Mrs Woggie said...

I like that many IF blogs turn into pregnancy blogs and then baby blogs and then children blogs, it gives me hope that maybe one day mine might too. My way of protecting myself is not reading about them on the days when I feel down.

Here from ICLW.

BrandiH2007 said...

The truth is some people can't continue to read once you get your BFP, but that is understandable. I know there were days when it was quite hard for me to read about pregnancy and babies when I was trying so hard. But like you said, they go hand in hand. For some, there would be no family without treatments. That is why I know say I blog about pregnancy on ICLW, for the women who are up to it.

By the way, Congratulations!

Kristin said...

I also combine mommy/family blogging with bogging about infertility. My blog is just about my life.

Congrats on your great beta.

Martha said...

Great post, thanks for your insight and warmth.

kirke said...

I always feel left out when bloggers start the second blog after the BFP. Like it's a secret club I wouldn't understand. Sure there are some days that it makes me sad to read about babies, but mostly I am grateful for the success stories. It helps me keep the faith!

Cara said...

I'm a big supporter of every woman's journey, regardless of IF or loss, is their very own. For this reason and because my site is meant to be a safehaven for all mothers, suffering and celebrating, I always mention if there is a picture of a child. I don't worry too much about the parenting text, because it is usually in conjunction with their connection to their heavenly sister.

A very tender and insightful post!

ILCW

nonlineargirl said...

Having problems getting pregnant has impacted me, and being a parent shapes me daily. I write about both things. If the goal is readership, it might make sense to specialize, but otherwise it makes more sense to me to write about what is important.