Looking Pregnant

Today I'm 11 weeks 3 days and I'm still in my first trimester. I'm feeling really fat, not pregnant because I keep telling myself you can't look this pregnant in your first trimester. I've heard the stories about how you pop faster your second time around and I know that with twins I'll be bigger, and yet I can't help feeling like I look too big for 11 weeks 3 days. I'm living in my maternity jeans (with the help of a Bella band) because I don't want to get the rest of my maternity clothing out. I made a deal with myself that I would allow myself to wear my maternity clothing after my first trimester scan.

I work next to a big mall and sometimes we go over there for lunch. Today I had a headache and was feeling quite tense so we decided to get one of those 15 minute chair massages. It was great but and definitely helped (so did the Tylenol) but afterwards my massage therapist looked at me and asked me if I was pregnant. She could tell! A complete stranger could tell I was pregnant! So maybe I look more than fat. I just need to keep telling myself that.

Double the Trouble (62% Were Right!)

I went for my first ultrasound today. I must admit, both my husband and I were very nervous. We had two main questions on our minds, would we see a heartbeat and would it be one or two? Thankfully we didn't have to wait long before they called us in. We had a great ultrasound tech who detailed everything she was showing us. And the first thing we saw? Two gestational sacs! Yes, that's right, two. And in those two sacs were two beautiful embryos with strong beating hearts. Baby A had a heartrate of 119 and Baby B had a heartrate of 117. We even got to hear those wonderful notes. I swear that is the best sound in the world. They also both measured at exactly 6 weeks and 4 days which was perfect.



So, needless to say we were both stunned and excited. Beating hearts! Yippee! Twins! Eek! We have a lot to think about now, a lot to get used to. It will definitely make life very interesting starting about 8 months from now. Lizzie is going to have the shock of her life. Thankfully she is still little so there will come a day when she won't remember being on her own. Now...about that mini-van we're going to have to buy...any recommendations?

The Right to Complain

I think one of the many many problems with going through the whole infertility process is when you finally get pregnant, you feel so grateful that you don't feel like you have the right to complain about any pregnancy symptoms or even later, about any child issues once they are born. Just pile that feeling on top of all the other unfair things about infertility.

So what I'd like to say is, you DO have a right to complain like any other pregnant women or mommy! Once you have finally reached your goal and you can relax (hmm...and when exactly would that be?), you should enjoy it.

Part of enjoying pregnancy and motherhood is having the right to complain about it because, believe me, not everything will be wonderful. Your feet will swell, you won't be able to sleep, your back might ache and you should be able to voice your thoughts on the matter without feeling guilty. Same goes for once the baby is born. You will be tired and frustrated and struggling with mommyhood. You will also love that baby more than you ever thought possible. But, that doesn't mean you have to be happy ALL the time.

Stand up for your right to complain and don't think that makes any less thankful for finally reaching your goal of being a mommy!

Beta Results

This morning I went in for my beta (blood test to check for pregnancy) and I've got the results! My HCG is 319! Woo hoo! I'm definitely pregnant and my HCG is nice and strong (they want it to be over 100). I go back on Thursday morning for more blood work to ensure the numbers are doubling as expected. So, I've made it over the second hurdle but it still feels like there are hundreds more. I'm happy though and excited. Let's just hope it's only one though cause I looked at triple strollers the other day and they are very scary (not to mention expensive)!!!